darlings.....

i don't even know where to start.... get at me on tumblr though (: i'll be back to xanga eventually.

http://be-strongerthanthe-pressure.tumblr.com/

I'D REALLY appreciate it if ya'll followed me <33

FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR PLEASE <3

http://be-strongerthanthe-pressure.tumblr.com/

I'm new to it... i'm just kinda learning. & i've been posting like crazy... can you gys give me tips on how to use it etc...? thanks loves.

hi my pretties (:

i miss blogging.. i miss talking to all of you.. i just have been so caught up with all the shit going on right now i don't even know where to start. when i get a chance to write everything that has happened i will. for now, i'm gonna take a survey. post a few pictures. bare with me. i'll be back soon. i just have to find the time & energy to get my life straightened out.

survey ;

1. Taken a picture naked?

nope & i never will.

2. Painted your room?

yes... a couple years ago.

3. Kissed a member of the same sex?

yes, hahaha. drunk girls do stupid things for attention.

4. Drove a car?

yes, i've had my liscense for two years. i still absolutely hate driving on the interstate though.

5. Danced in front of your mirror?

of course, many times.

6. Had a crush?

quite a few.

7. Been dumped?

no, i haven't.

8. Stole money from a friend?

God, no.

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met?

i would never ever do that.

10. Been in a fist fight?

nope, i'm a weiny.

11. Snuck out of your house?

yeah lots of times.

12. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

yeah, unfortunately.

13. Been arrested?

nope.

14. Made out with a stranger?

nope, sure haven't. sounds fun though (:

15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

who hasn't?

16. Left your house without telling your parents?

yep.

17. Had a crush on your neighbor?

oh hahah yes, i had crushes on all my boy neighbors when i was little. they're all weird now.

18. Ditched school to do something more fun?

yes.

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

yeah.

20. Seen someone die?

no.

21. Been on a plane?

sure haven't. crazy. i don't know if i'd be scared or not.

22. Kissed a picture?

probably...

23. Slept in until 3?

yeah, i'm sure i have. i don't sleep in much anymore. 9 or 10 is always the latest.

24. Love someone or miss someone right now?

i love lots of people... i miss people too.

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

yes, but not for a very long time.

26. Made a snow angel?

yessss

27. Played dress up?

aww yeah !

28. Cheated while playing a game?

i'm sure i have..

29. Been lonely?

i've been lonely for a real long time.

30. Fallen asleep at work/school?

at school a couple of times.

31. Been to a club?

nope. i can get in now though since i'm 18.

32. Felt an earthquake?

no, but we actually had one in west virginia this summer which is insane! you usually don't feel earthquakes in the mountains. i didn't even feel it, but lots of people here did. the whole state made a huge deal out of it.

33. Touched a snake?

yeah

34. Ran a red light?

yeah

35. Been suspended from school?

hell no, i've only even had detention once in my life.

36. Had detention?

hahaha ^

37. Been in a car accident?

a couple minor ones. i wasn't driving. one was with my mom & the other was with some friends.

38. Hated the way you look?

most days i loathe myself... i don't even have the strength to dress up anymore.

39. Witnessed a crime?

yep.

40. Pole danced?

hahhaah fucking around on the pole in my grandparent's basement? that's it.

41. Been lost?

yep.

42. Been to the opposite side of the country?

never.

43. Felt like dying?

still do a lot... :(

44. Cried yourself to sleep?

ew, yeah.

46. Sang karaoke?

fuck yes... my friends & i used to go every saturday night... i love karaoke.

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

usually eating is involved.

48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

that's never happened to me haha.

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

yup.

50. Kissed in the rain?

nope.

51. Sang in the shower?

all the time.

52. Made out in a park?

yeah.

53. Dream that you married someone?

not that i can recall.

54. Smoked cigarettes? Weed?

yes, i'm a chain smoker. & yes, but i don't anymore. i hate weed.

55. Drank alcohol?

hahaha stupid question. who hasn't?

56. Done hard drugs?

nope.

57. Been a cheerleader?

when i was like 8 - 10. then the girls always picked on me so i quit.

58. Sat on a roof top?

yes.

59. Brush your teeth?

yes, but if you want honesty... i usually don't at night time. bad, i know.. i'm too lazy. i brush them every morning though.

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?

no, i've done it before.

61. Played chicken?

fuck no.

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

yeah.

64. Broken a bone?

no. knock on wood.

63. Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

yeah.

66. Laughed so hard you cried?

not often, but i have before.

67. Mooned/flashed someone?

yeah my friends. i moon them all the time haha.

68. Cheated on a test?

yeah.

69. Forgotten someone’s name?

yep.

70. Slept naked?

yepppppppp.

some pictures:

i did a spread in a magazine for weddings a few weeks ago

some other shit.

<2

i'm still alive

hi guys... i'm still alive. it's been forever. i'll be back to posting soon enough though. i hope you all are well. i posted a follow button over on the left hand side of my page. follow me & let me know who you are & i'll follow you back. twitter & facebook are the best places to get a hold of me at the moment. <3 xo ali.

here's my facebook :

http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1848519525

& follow me on twitter @_alisummers or there's the button over there.

i'll try to get back to xanga soon my loves.

diving too deep for coins

going up tp see my mom in a bit. thanks to all of you who said you'd pray <3 the bee pollen is definitely keeping my eating down, but the scale isn't really budging... just gonna give it some more time? i should probably start excercising,  but the thought just makes me cringe.

quotes/pictures <3 enjoy. rec/sub/cmt

I could feel a hot one taking me down and for a moment,
I could feel the force. Fainted to the point of tears and
you were holding on to make a point.
What's the point?

I remember head down after you had found out mana is a hell of a drug.
I need a little more I think cause enough is never quite enough.
What's enough?

I took it like a grown man crying on the pavement
hoping you would show your
face. But I haven't heard a thing you've said
in at least a couple hundred
days.

I was in the front seat shaking it out and I was asking if you
felt all right. I never want to hear the truth. I want to hear your
voice, it sounded fine. My voice, it sounded fine.

I could feel my heartbeat taking me down and for the moment
I would sleep all right. Invading with a selfish fear
to keep me up another restless night.

You're gone and I'm haunted. I bet you're just fine.

If you could let the forcefield down.. I swear I'm trying to make
conversation. If I could let my hair grow out, then I could prove that I'm
not so impulsive. If I could let my feelings out, then I could show you that
I have been thinking that we'd have gotten farther if we never even started
at all.

I still see you inside of this god awful house.
You move awfully quiet now.
And I still feel you everywhere.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world,
not even our troubles.
-Charlie Chaplin

And I realized then that you were perfect.
And my teeth ripping out of my
head. And it looked like a painting I once knew back when
my thoughts weren't entirely intact.

Do you want to see the place where I am free?
Cause in my mind I need it, but
you're no where near to me.

If you can't trust the wind, who can you trust?
If you can't love sin, who can you love?
If I begin will you let me finish up?

Climb up a mountain just to watch it fall down.
But sooner or later, babe, you're gonna need me around.

Cause you're getting older and there aint no
stopping that.It's a backstabbing world, honey. Just lean your head back.

You're all alone and you can't take it.
You're just a tad too suffocated. All
alone we'll just fake it.

I'm sure you've lost that weight again and I'm sure the pills
keep pouring in. We'll scream at night to make it go away.
So put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere.

I am waiting for something to go wrong.
I am waiting for familiar resolve.

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey,
and I stood there loving
you and wished them all away.
And you come away with a great little
story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you.

It disappeared at the same speed as the idealistic things I believed.
The optimist died inside of me.

We make a mess of what matters. Give our good grace away.
We try to drink the clock backwards and pretend like nothing's changed.

You may never understand this affliction
although you feel the effects you
feel. Bruised now, body and mind you feel.
Used now, almost all of the time.

I've got no desire to use you, you know. But anything that I could do
would never be good enough for you. If you can't help it, then just leave it alone.

I'm not used coming through, more accustomed to a falling out.
Trying hard now as I can for you not to trip up on some stupid doubt.
You got your hopes set way up high, way on up there where the air is thin.
Limit's supposed to be the sky. Trying not to let you down again.

i may not be there yet,
but i'm closer than i was yesterday.

Do more than exist; live. Do more than touch;
feel. Do more than look,
observe. Do more
than read, absorb. Do more than hear, listen.
Do more than listen, understand. Do more
than talk; say something.